Stepping it Up

I finally created a tumblr account with the plan to grow in the area of photography. Check it out. There will be a new photo every day….at least that’s the plan for right now.

http://stillmacp.tumblr.com/

Compartmentalizing

On Sunday, Dale finished a 2 part sermon series called Unmasking Satan. During the message he shared a list of lies that Satan uses against us. One the lies hit me personally as I realized Ang and I have been repeating it to each other a great deal lately.

Life won’t always be this hard.

As soon as that statement was made, the truth behind the lie came to me. When we tell ourselves that life won’t always be this hard it allows us not to deal with the reality of what is happening right now. We can push it off and disconnect emotionally and spiritually from it. We can tell ourselves that we don’t need God because soon this too will pass and life will continue on.

This reminds me of Job and how he dealt with life when he lost everything. Job didn’t spend his time sitting in the ashes, saying to himself, “Life won’t always be this hard.” No, he dealt with it; he faced it head on and took it to God. He allowed himself to feel the emotions and he worked through it. He did not live in denial and hope that maybe life would get better.

Ever since I was a young, I have taught myself how to disconnect and compartmentalize life. It has been my coping mechanism for hard times. While some of this can be good, the danger lies in doing this for every bad thing that happens and never really dealing with any of it. Compartmentalizing is like packing away all your junk into boxes and putting in the attic. At some point you’re going to have to deal with it (like when you move) and it’s always a bigger job to deal with the junk down the road than it is right now. We can’t be afraid to face our hardships head on. We can’t buy into the lie that life will not always be this hard because it may get even harder. God doesn’t promise us an easy life, but He does promise to walk through each hardship with us. So the next time you find yourself saying, “Life won’t always be this hard,” remind yourself that Satan is just trying to distract you from dealing with the hardship and moving on from it.

Masters of Their Craft

Jack of all trades, master of none.

I remember thinking as a teen that having the ability to be average at many things was far superior than being great at just one. So this became my life’s motto ~ learn enough to get by, but never learn enough to master.

Mastering takes time, dedication, sacrifice, desire…Why learn just one craft, when you can know a little of many?!

Good question! It’s one I have been wrestling with lately. What God has been showing me is that in my ignorance of just being average, it’s really just a facade of deeper issues he wants to deal with. Being average is really just the opposite of mastering the gift or gifts God has blessed me with. Being average allows me to be lazy, lack dedication, exhibit selfishness, and in the end waste the gift God has given to me.

I can come up with all the excuses in the world…

• I’m too busy…
• I’m not good enough…
• I don’t have the means or resources…
• I can never be that good…
• I’m tired…
• I just don’t care…

…but in the end, it’s really just disobedience to God.  I’ve always been intrigued with the story that Jesus shared about the servants and the talents they were entrusted with.  Now, I know that the word talent is the form of currency used during the time of the story, but how appropriate is that word for today?!  Could God in his omniscience have chosen that word to play a double meaning for the reader?  Could He have intended us to see that story in light of the very talents He gives to us to use for His purposes?  And when we fail to master those talents, are we just like the servant who took his talent and hid it in the ground?

What God is showing me is that mastering our talent is not just sacrifice, time-consuming, and confining.  Rather, He is showing me that when we master the talent He has given to us, we become free…free to worship Him, free to be used by Him, and free to enjoy the gift He has given to us.

At our fall retreat, God answered prayer and brought to us an amazing group of musicians and worship leaders.  I really had no idea what they would be like, but I was trusting God.  As they began playing on Friday night I was blown away.  They led with a genuine awareness of awe for who God is and an amazing ability to play their instruments.  There was no sheet music and they really didn’t even take much time to practice before we started, but I could sense the freedom in the air.  I have never been around a group of people who have known so much about their craft before and it was inspiring.  Because they were masters of their crafts they were free to worship as the Spirit led.

I once had a teen tell me that he didn’t like to practice because he wanted to be free to follow the Spirit’s leading.  What I have come to learn is that when we practice the talent that God has given us, it is through that we become free to follow the Spirit’s leading.

So what are you going to be?  A master or a jack?  God wants us to become masters…

The Big Ask

I’ve been working on plans for our upcoming Fall Retreat for months now. I have a facility, I have a speaker, I have counselors, I have games and prizes, but what I didn’t have was a worship team. Up until last Sunday, I had no one, person or band, to lead worship at our fall retreat.

Everything inside of me has been wanting to freak out. How can you have a fall retreat without worship?! That’s unheard of! But I knew that God was in control and freaking out about it would change nothing. So I gave it up to Him to worry about it.

What I did in the meantime, was track down people to ask. This is how the last 3 months has looked like for me:

• I would ask someone.
• 2-3 weeks would go by without any response.
• I would finally hear from them.
• Answer would be, “No, can’t do it.”
• I would start the cycle all over again by asking someone else.

Then something happened. Last Friday, I was spending some time with God and we had this conversation:

God:     “You know Morgan, you haven’t asked me to provide someone to lead worship.”
Me:       “What are you talking about God?! I’ve been asking you for the past 3 months.”
God:     “Sure, you’ve been leaning on me and trusting me because you know that I know, but you haven’t asked me yet.”

Me:       “Are you kidding me God?! You need me to ask you?!”
God:     “Yep.”
Me:      “But you’re God! You know exactly what I need and how I need it. Why do you need me to say it?”

God:     “It’s not that I need you to say it…you need you to say it!”
Me:      “…” (not very impressed with God at this moment)
God:     “Look, the fact that it is so hard for you to say 8 simple words is exactly why you need you to say it. Until you say it, fear and pride will stand between you and me. You haven’t really put your trust in me yet because you haven’t really asked me yet. If for some reason I don’t come through for you, no worries…you never really asked me in the first place. Who can blame you?! But if you ask me, if you put yourself out there…there’s a risk. But here’s the crazy part…I love you! I want to be there for you! I want to answer your prayers! I just need you to trust me…I mean really trust me.”

Me: “…” (not very impressed with God at this moment…because I know He’s right)
God: “So…are you going to ask me?
Me: “…God, will you provide someone to lead worship?”

What happens next is the cool part (as if having a conversation with God isn’t cool enough!). Later on that evening, I got an email back from the last person I tried asking. He explained that not only would he be able to come for the weekend, but he would also be bringing his band. How cool is that?!

I’ve often wondered why God needs us to pray and ask Him for help. I mean, He’s God and He knows everything. What God is showing me is that we are the ones who benefit from by doing the asking. It’s a way for God to strengthen our faith and take away our pride. So what is God waiting for you to ask Him? Don’t be like me and let your fear and pride get in the way of saying a few simple words. Put yourself out there and see how amazing God truly is!

Trigger (Wo)Man

I’m a mix between dreamer and planner.  While I love to dream about what comes next, I also need to have a balance of defining how we get there.  Dreams are not only important but they are also vital to a ministry’s existence.  However, if a person only stays in the dreaming phase, even the greatest and most doable of dreams will never come into fruition.

This is a very important lesson I’m learning in ministry.  If we never learn the value or the process of pulling the trigger on our dreams, those dreams will soon be forgotten and ministry will be missed.

I use two books to help me dream and follow through – a journal and a day timer.  (The particular brand I use is Moleskine…I happen to be a little bit of an addict)  In my journal I record all the ideas and dreams that come to mind.  I will leave space in between each so that later I can come back and begin to flesh them out.

Once I have allowed myself some time to process if this dream is worth pursuing, I put it on the calendar.  I have found that a deadline is very important to bring ideas from the dreamworld into reality.  A deadline forces us to be intentional about making the dream happen as well as giving us a tangible timeframe to evaluate whether or not the dream is successful and worth continuing.

I love dreaming, but more than that I love seeing a dream become reality.  If there are some dreams that God has placed on your heart, pull the trigger.  Make it happen!  What are you waiting for?!  See what God wants to do through you and your ministry.  Be the trigger wo(man) God wants you to be.

If you have a different approach to this, let me know.  I love to hear how people bring their dreams into reality.  I’d also love to hear what some of your dreams are…it might spark something in me too.

Simple Reading

I need to read more.

I was looking at my bookshelves the other day and realized that even though I have many books (too many, in fact) that I have yet to read, I keep buying more. I even joined one of those infamous book clubs where they would send you a couple books every month if you didn’t send back a card begging them to keep their books. And let’s be honest, these book clubs were created especially for people like me…procrastinators.

The breaking point came when I had to buy a book called Finding God in the Shack. Seriously?! I haven’t even read The Shack and now you’re telling me that I have to commit to reading a second book when I finally start and finish first?!

I know you’re thinking to yourself, “Why don’t you just send it back? You don’t have to keep it.” (Re-read the second paragraph again and it might become clear.)

Getting back to reading more. I decided to clear out my shelves. Put away books that I haven’t picked up in the five years ministry I have under my belt, and move the teen-themed books out of my office and to a place where they can actually find them. What I’m left with is some simplicity on my shelves, books that have helped me and ones I aim to conquer over the next few months. Angela suggested that we start a new habit of going to bed earlier and spend that time reading instead of wasting it in front of the TV. I think it’s worth trying…and in the meantime, no more book clubs for this guy.

*As a side note – I created a dedicated shelf for books that I would like to read but haven’t yet.  The idea is that as I finish one book, I’ll move another book onto the shelf in its place. Here is a current list of the books on my shelf:

1. How People Grow – Cloud & Townsend
2. The Beautiful Fight – Gary Thomas
3. Hearing God – Dallas Willard
4. The Sacred Romance – Curtis & Eldredge
5. Created to be God’s Friend – Henry Blackaby
6. Chosen to be God’s Prophet – Henry Blackaby
7. Prepared to be God’s Vessel – Henry Blackaby
8. Called to be God’s Leader – Henry Blackaby
9. Visioneering – Andy Stanley
10. The Pursuit of Holiness – Jerry Bridges
11. Jesus Wants to Save Christians – Rob Bell
12. Making Judgements Without Being Judgmental – Terry Cooper
13. Unchristian – Kinnaman & Lyons
14. Velvet Elvis – Rob Bell
15. Sex God – Rob Bell
16. The Shack – William Young (Well, I kind of have to read it now!)
17. Saint – Ted Dekker
18. Simple Spirituality – Christopher Heuertz
19. Jesus Christ Disciplemaker – Bill Hull
20. Simple Church – Rainer & Geiger

What books are you reading at the moment?

Ministry Hurt

I often wrestle with this paradigm – someone serves God to their fullest capacity, does everything she is asked to do, and yet somehow experiences hurt.  I know that just because we show people God’s love it doesn’t mean that they will in turn show us love. I know that Jesus himself experienced ministry hurt.  But that doesn’t change how I feel about it.

I love my adult leadership team.  I serve with great men and women who love God and love teens.  If there is a need, they are the first to meet it – even when I don’t ask. Each week, they come and give up their Sunday nights so that our teens can experience God. They pray, they sweat, and they sacrifice for our teens and yet every now and then they get hurt by the very ones they are trying to love.

This happened last night at The Refuge.  We had an epic night of worship, fun, and a challenge through the message.  But I walked away from the night broken inside for the hurt that a few of my adults experienced when our teens unintentionally rejected them.  No one person really did anything wrong.  It’s just the nature of working with teens whose world does not extend beyond the reach of their arms.  Nothing I could do will take away the hurt except to hurt alongside them and leave it to God to use it somehow.

That’s hardest part.  Not being able to do anything but leave it up to God.  But, then again, He is the best healer…

Is Stupidity by Any Other Name Still Stupidity?

Angela thinks that I’m going to grow up a grumpy old man. You know the kind that gets annoyed by anything and everything people do. She’s probably right (even though I hope she’s not)!

People do stupid things. I do stupid things. And when I see someone do something stupid I feel the need to comment on it. Not necessarily to the person doing the stupid thing, although sometimes I do, but mainly just out loud. Is it wrong? Am I being a bad Christian when I acknowledge the stupidity of humankind?

Jesus called people on their stupidity. I know He didn’t use the term stupid, but He did get brutally honest with them. Look at this:

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

“Everything they do is done for men to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have men call them ‘Rabbi.’

“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called ‘teacher,’ for you have one Teacher, the Christ.  The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.

“Woe to you, blind guides! You say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gold of the temple, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? You also say, ‘If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but if anyone swears by the gift on it, he is bound by his oath.’ You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? Therefore, he who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. And he who swears by the temple swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. And he who swears by heaven swears by God’s throne and by the one who sits on it.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers!

“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Therefore I am sending you prophets and wise men and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. 36I tell you the truth, all this will come upon this generation. (Matthew 23:1-36)

I realize that there is context that has to be taken into consideration here and there are times when pointing out someone’s stupidity is just not appropriate, but are there appropriate times?  Am I always wrong when I say, “That was stupid!”?

The Pharisees were being stupid so Jesus called them on it.  I hope that if I’m being stupid Jesus will call me on it.

Aged Love

One of the saints of our church is dying.

He has pancreatic cancer and over the past few weeks has deteriorated to the point where he can’t do anything for himself.  He needs someone to help him out of bed, to feed him, to shave his face, even help him go to the bathroom.  His wife is not strong enough to help him, so people in our church have been taking turns sitting with him.

On Monday, I spent the morning there doing anything that needed to be done.  When I arrived, both he and his wife were still in bed and they invited me to sit in their bedroom as they took their time waking up.  Eventually, she left the room to get herself ready for the day.

So there I sat, watching as he came in and out of sleep…breathing gently.  The room was peaceful and as I watch him, I thought about all he has done in his life and the legacy that he soon would be leaving behind.  I have known this man for almost 6 years and even in that short amount of time he has left a lasting impression on me.

After a little while, she came back in the room.  And almost as if I wasn’t even there, she walked over to her husband, leaned down to his face, and very softly, kissed him on the lips.

The moment was surreal for me.

One kiss and through it I saw the embodiment of love.  She didn’t kiss him to be kissed back.  She kissed him because she wanted him to know that she loves him.

Will my love for my wife look like that 50 years from now?!  I want it to.  I want to have such a pure love for my wife that even if she is not able to give anything back, I will still love her and show it to her.

The Beginning of a Journey…

Every journey must have a beginning.

Profound, isn’t it?!

Abram’s journey began near the oak at Moreh.  Moses’ started his at the burning bush, near Mount Sinai (the Mountain of God).  The valley of Elah is where David found his. Peter began his along the shores of the Sea of Galilee and Saul in the home of Ananias. Every journey must have a beginning.

My journey began almost 6 years ago when I heard God call me to Alaska.  The land was foreign and the people were strangers, but God was calling me on a journey.  I accepted the challenge and we began the process to travel to the other side of the world. However, just as any great journey requires preparation God was not done with me yet in New Brunswick.

From the time I decided to leave until the day we actually headed west, nine months would come to pass.  They were some of the most difficult months that I have ever had to face in my life but God used them to mold me and prepare me for the journey ahead. I went from a full-time position at Bethany Bible College to not finding any work anywhere, not even at McDonalds.  I eventually found an elderly woman who needed her yard raked.  That led to other elderly people needing yards cleaned-up.  Eventually, one woman hired me to maintain her yard until I found a more permanent job.  After a month of finding odd jobs, Tim Hortons hired me…on probation.  I worked hard because that was what I was taught, but as each shift came and went I found it harder and harder to find motivation for anything.  I knew where God was taking me but why was He taking so long to do it?!

Tim Hortons proved to be very challenging and character testing for me.  The same students I had recruited for Bethany I was now serving a medium double-double and chocolate-dipped donut to.  I had a bachelors degree and graduated with honors and now I had to report to someone who just finished high school.  I had to deal with the fact that for the first time in my life I actually had a difficult time finding good work.  I began to question everything…including God and this so-called journey He was taking me on.  This wasn’t the journey that I had signed-up for!  But God new that I had to be tested for what laid ahead.  Just like Moses had to spend time in the desert before leading the Israelites out Egypt, I had to spend time in my own desert to prepare.

The time did come and nine months later, Angela and I were on our way to Alaska.  This past April has marked five years for us here in Alaska.  It has been both good and challenging but I know that God has been with us every step of the way.  Today, my journey continues on here in Alaska but I still find the need for continual preparation and growth to stay on this journey.

And that is what brings me to this, my first post of a new blog.  I’m on a journey…I want to continue growing and being challenged by God…and this blog is an opportunity for me to grow.  I don’t journal but I constantly meditate on God and what He is about and I need a place to record that interaction.  So allow me to invite you to listen in on my journey and if God can use it to encourage, challenge or even call you to your own journey, then I am grateful.

Every journey must have a beginning…here is mine.